Number of customers so far today determined to rip open my throat open and suck the blood from my body: 3 (but it's only 12:00)
Number of customers who actually realise that we are actually humans, not robots with phones built in to our ears: 2
Number of people who have started and quite since I started working here: 2
Number of people starting work here this week: 2
How long I think they'll last: 1 day
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