Wednesday, 28 September 2005

Xanga Post: Wednesday, September 28, 2005

"People are always doing that to me. I don't know why. I don't die on them but people always die on me."

~Ingrid Pitt~

Jay and I stayed up last night talking and watching an Ingrid Pitt interview. (I firmly believe she's bonkers...But good fun by the looks.)

It was so nice to just sit and talk. And Jay looked happy which was nice because he's been so stressed lately. Plus, I got a Sweep puppet show.... That was great!

Tuesday, 27 September 2005

Xanga Post: Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Yesterday was a good day.

I felt inspired. Work went well (although I lost all my extra little duties because that company decided not to pay so we closed their phones lines). I got a whole bunch done around the house and our Guild meeting was good. I was feelin' crafty too.

But you know what the best part of the whole darn day was? When Jay looked at me and said, "Talking to you at break time was the highlight of my day."  *swoon*

I just realised that I have a FOUR day work week. FOUR DAYS, not the normal HELLISH FIVE. Yippie! Jay and I must rub elbows with the stars on Friday. *drops posh voice*

 Biggest convention of the year this weekend. Plus, we have a GOLD PASS. (Assuming they haven't screwed it up. Oh, please Goddess, tell me they haven't screwed it up with how much it cost us.) I'm so excited.

Monday, 26 September 2005

Xanga Post: Monday, September 26, 2005

This morning in the car I was listening to some really depressing song about a guy who got dumped by the woman he loved (courtesy of he-with-no-taste) and I was just like *sob*. How sad. How would I feel? What would I do without Jay? And that thought's been killing me all day. How could I ever live without him? He means so much to me. And not being able to tell him until 10:30... Beyond sucks. I want to tell him all the time how much I love him.

During break, I was sitting on a low wall across from my workplace, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate and just looking around. I couldn't help but marvel at the effect Autumn has on the Valleys. Where the sun comes over the mountains, different parts of the trees and forests are getting more light, which means that they're changing different colours. One area may still be green and lush but a little way down the road, the trees are completely barren, their leaves carpeting the ground. There may be a bright red patch in the centre of a green tree because there, just there, got a little bit more attention from the sun this year.

Sometime last winter I was standing at the coffee machine, shivering - like I did all winter long last year - when a girl from the office across from me came up. "I'm not from around here either," she told me. Then she went on to tell me the following story:

She was standing at a bus stop waiting (for the phantom 151, no doubt) when this old Welsh gent came up. He saw her shivering (under a huge coat) and smiled. "You're in the Valley's now, love."

A short story, I know, but special. To me at least. I can't really explain it. I don't really feel that out-of-placeness any more. I've fallen in love. Not just with my husband, but with his country. I feel  like a Valley Girl.

On an unrelated note, Sue brought me home a "surprise" on Friday. In the form of a witch's broom. Lol. Bless her.

I called her Betty.

Friday, 23 September 2005

Xanga Post: Friday, September 23, 2005

I can liken any particular stage in my life to an Alanis album. Today, I am Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie.

Thursday, 22 September 2005

Xanga Post: Thursday, September 22, 2005

Yayyyy! I'm so excited! :) I got a package in the mail today from the States and guess what was inside....Two great big honking bags of CANDY CORN! *happy dance* I love brena80! :)

Crafters are the best people in the world.

(But my Autopsy Baby still hasn't come!)

Okay, so I handed out a bunch of fliers at our last Guild meeting and challenged all our members to put one in a place they see every day. Three days later, I pass the bulletin board at work and see one of my fliers. That, Wally, is NOT what I meant!

Jay's Nightmare On Elm Street poster came today too and they didn't even put a bit of cardboard in the envelope to protect it. Bad ebay seller.

Tuesday, 20 September 2005

Xanga Post: Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'm an idiot. Yup, it's true. I've been swamped for weeks and yet, in my infinite wisdom, I took on extra responsibilities at work. (For some reason, I'm not sure if I'm spelling anything right today....)

I was so bummed yesterday and Jay made me feel a million times better.  I love him to death. He's like this pillar that I can always lean against. *sigh*

Monday, 19 September 2005

Xanga Post: Monday, September 19, 2005

Interesting sort of weekend.

I had to go home early on Friday (oh darn) because all the lights in our house had blown. So, I left about two hours early and caught a bus home to wait for the electrician. Out of all the crazy people in Wales - and there are a fair few - I got stuck next to the one crazy person on the bus who wanted to sell me Jesus.

Grrrreeeaaatttt.

I thought she was all nice and normal, talking about nice, normal stuff and then... Wham. I knew I was in trouble when she said she was married to a street preacher. But it was too late. Then, the dreaded question: "How do you feel about Heaven and Hell? I mean, I know which one you're GOING TO, but which one WOULD you like to go to?"

Oh, Goddess, save me.

Then, I got home and met Britain's snobbiest man. What sort of electrician is afraid of getting his hands dirty?

He was about sixty years old and the first thing he said was, "Before you take another step, you must know that I don't like dogs. I'm allergic." Me, being the smart ass I am, replied with "So? So am I." He was all looking down his nose at our house the whole time and when I had to open the door to Sue's lounge to turn the light on, he nearly had a fit. "I DON'T LIKE DOGS!"

I can't tell you how much I didn't like that guy. Then, he went back to Sue's insurance company and reported us for a bunch of shit that wasn't even true. Like, he couldn't get access to what he needed, which is bullshit. Anywho, Sue's insurance company have told her that they won't pay a penny for anything because the fixtures and wiring are "ancient and dangerous." Which, sadly, is true. But, Sue only opened the policy last year and never needed it before now. Anyway, Jay and I have been saying for ages that she needs to have the electrics redone but it COSTS MONEY so she won't. Even if it means we all die.

I was really unfair to Jay this weekend.  I was so grouchy and mean. I really want to make it up to him, since it wasn't really his fault, just me having the grumps on. I'm such an awful wife sometimes. Why can't I be good enough for him? It seems like I'm always doing something to screw things up. I just want him to be happy and sometimes it seems like the one thing standing in his way is me.  Why am I such a screw up?

Sean and Alun invited themselves up on Sunday. I woke up all grouchy because I was expecting to be stuck home all day with them there. And then Jay was like, come on, we're getting out of here. I'm not living my life for them. It was amazing. I was so proud of him at that moment. So, we went out for a drive, just spending time together. Then, we went up the Scenic Drive and just sat and talked. It was really nice. I wish I wouldn't have ruined it by being so unfair to Jay.

Thursday, 15 September 2005

Xanga Post: Thursday, September 15, 2005

Shushkin had an abscess on his paw. They bandaged him up and sent him home. He stayed in my and Jay's bed all night.

Omg. He kept me up forever last night meowing at me. We tried to smooth him and feed him fresh chicken and all but... That cat can b***h! Lol. Not that I blame him with that awful thing on his paw.

Um....I can't really thing of anything else right now....

Wednesday, 14 September 2005

Xanga Post: Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Jay and I watched Casper last night. Omg. It was scary. I was like, "You know... When this movie came out, I was young enough to have a crush on that boy!" Lol. And then I felt SO OLD. Omg, can you please slow down time?? I'll be having babies before you know it. Then watching them go to school and then graduation and then... Sheesh. Fright fest.

Sue's had to take Shushkin in to the vet today. His paw is three times its normal size and he's not eating. What is it, hell year for pet owners?

I've got two penpals off crafster.  I'm such a geek, right? (The other night Jay looked at me and said, "You're the absolute embodiment of geekiness." I was so proud.  I'm a complete geek and he loves me anyway.)

I've gotten a couple of emails from Lindsay now. I'll be honest: It's making me uncomfortable. I don't want to be flat out rude to her but I don't think I want to see her again. I know that if she came to visit it would be horribly uncomfortable. Not just for me, but for everyone else. *sigh* How to handle that one?

I'd much rather get emails from my real friends. *cough, cough*

Tuesday, 13 September 2005

Xanga Post: Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Last night was one of those nights that makes life worth living. Jay and I sat cuddled on the couch all night and it was just amazing. *sigh*

Omg! I found a conker! Lol. Don't laugh, I've never seen one. I didn't really know what it was so I asked a pair of passing police people. (I think they thought I was cutting class. Lol.)

Oh....I think I'm allergic to conkers, btw. Lol. My hand is itchy and swollen now. *grin*

Friday, 9 September 2005

Xanga Post: Friday, September 09, 2005

Omg. I love Jay so much. He was an absolute ANGEL the whole time Lindsay was here. He was so attentive and sweet. *sigh* I don't know how he can be so good to a hag like me sometimes. Lol. He kept offering me his seat and making sure we had a few minutes alone together and things like that.

Well, things turned out to not go very well with Lindsay. *sigh* I guess it's my fault because I didn't really know her all that well, really.


Everything was cool until Wednesday morning when Lindsay flipped out over her roommate keeping her dog rather than dropping it off at a neighbours. (Long story, I'm not going into here.) Well, she totally freaked out about it.

Here's one of the things that bugged me: I was like, "Listen, you really shouldn't be saying such nasty things about your friend. What if she's hurt and just couldn't do what you asked her to do? How would you feel about calling her names then?" And Lindsay said, without hesitation, "Well, that's not my problem right now. My dog is my priority." Whoa. I'm sorry but that's not good. And then she spent hours bitching at me about it, like it was MY bloody fault.

On the same note, Jay got up about an hour after she started raving about her dog. He said good morning to her and she totally blanked him. Well, he said goodbye to her before he left and she blanked him again. That really put him off.

Okay. And here's another thing that bothered me: I told Lindsay it was okay for her to call her mum the night she arrived to say she was okay. I did NOT tell Lindsay it was okay for her to just walk up and use the phone to call America any time she wanted without asking. Which she did. I also told her it was not acceptable under any circumstances to call a mobile because it would cost us a FORTUNE. Which she did anyway. Without asking. *sigh* I'm sorry but that's down right RUDE. Plus, who do you think will get stuck with the bill?

Sue took us shopping at Tesco on Wednesday and we all piled stuff into the cart and paid together so that we could all use Jay's discount card. Well, Sue bought a whole bunch of food when Lindsay arrived and cooked for her and even made a special trip to pick up Diet Pepsi when she ran out. Plus, she saved her like £2.40 on her groceries with the discount card. But, Lindsay still made her pay her back for the £1.50 worth of groceries that Sue actually bought. That put Sue totally off.

Well, I tried to keep a happy face and not let it bother me. You know - if you know me at all - that's not my forte. But I did. I tried to have a good time.

I went to help her move all her luggage down to our house and she told me to carry her suitcase without a handle or wheels while she took the easier cases. Again, rude. Then, on the way to the train station, she did nothing but bitch at me. The bus ride was too long, her suitcases were too heavy and WHY DIDN'T I KNOW EXACTLY WHICH PLATFORM SHE WAS LEAVING FROM? Then, when she started to get on the train, she just looked over her shoulder, said, "Bye," and the door closed behind her. No, "Thanks for paying $280 to put me up for the week and $100 to pick me up from the airport.." No, "I've had a great time, can't wait to see you again!" No. Just, "Bye."

She hasn't even called or emailed to say she was okay.

Jay and Sue are both up in arms about it. I'm just bummed. I thought I'd have the chance to build a friendship, you know? I guess I'm a worse judge of character than I thought. She was the nicest person in the world until things didn't go her way and then she went all Linda Blair on me.

I was suppose to go see her for her birthday and she was suppose to spend Halloween week and Christmas week with us. I don't think either of that will happen. I'm really disappointed. And I kind of feel like I've been made a fool of. Jay and Sue keep saying that she took advantage of me at every turn. But it's not just that. It's a week + £300 that Jay and I could have used to, you know, spend time together.

Anyway... What can you do?

I'm running my first craft swap on crafster! It's the Halloween Swap! Yay! *happy dance* I'm so excited!

Oh, Jay bought me an Autopsy Baby! Isn't he sweet?

Monday, 5 September 2005

Xanga Post: Monday, September 05, 2005

Omg. Jay made me cry. In a good way. He took a walk with Sean down the canal while I went to pick Lindsay up from the airport. He told me that they reached a bend and saw a heron perched in the centre of the canal and he said that it upset him because he was there with his brother and not me. That he knew I would've loved it. I think that is one of the most romantic things he's ever said to me. I love that man.

Lindsay is here and we're having a good time. The ride back from the airport was a bit of a fiasco because Alun got us lost. It was almost 3am when I walked through the front door. I haven't really gotten much time alone with Jay but the moments we have stolen have been really special.

It seems that we haven't really done much, Lindsay and I. We went out Friday night with Alun (because Jay and Egg were having their normal Friday night veg-fest) and had a few drinks. We wandered around a bit on the Scenic Drive Saturday night after Jay took us to Cardiff. There was a cute little stream trail we followed that I'd never seen before. That was nice. Sue's taking us up the Drive properly later this week.

Sue took us to a car boot sale yesterday as well. That was fun. I managed to find Sooty and Sweep tapes and a Sweep puppet for Jay. I was so proud.

Now, I'm in work. Bummer. But, I promised I would so.... Blah. Jay and Lindsay might meet me for lunch though and that'll brighten my day! Then, it's off to Club tonight.

We had Sean staying with us for the weekend because he's having a bit of trouble at home. He's gone now but I think he's coming to stay with us again over next weekend. I have to admit, Sean actually said something like, "Sorry I'm intruding, I know you and Jay don't get much time together as it is." I was pretty impressed by that.

Lindsay thought I'd gone a bit goofy in the head last night. I'd rolled a fag for Jay and we were walking up and down the lane with the dogs, waiting for him to get home. Well, without thinking about it, I was conducting with Jay's fag! Lol. (You know that really annoying song  we played in HS where the third clarinets played the same three notes the WHOLE song and everyone else in the bloody band has this beautiful melody? That one.)