Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Bad news.

We had a rough night here at the Vanian household. Mr. Vanian got some very bad news - his mother's cancer is terminal. They've given her a year, tops. They don't even know if they'll try to treat it because it could make her feel worse or even kill her faster.

She wants to come home as soon as she can but it looks like she's going to be moving to St. Anne's Hospice for awhile. Because she's paralyzed from the waist down, they have to teach her how to do a whole bunch of stuff before they'll let her out of their sight. I think maybe the doctors aren't too happy about sending her home without someone trained to look after her.

Mr. Vanian took the news very badly which is understandable since he's always been very close to his mother. With so many bad things happening recently, I think he's lost sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.

I think maybe I'm the opposite. I think so much bad stuff has happened in the last year + a bit that I can't even be surprised any more. For me, it just means that there will even more things I have to do - like my workload isn't heavy enough. I know that's a very selfish way of looking at it but I just keep thinking of who is going to be taking care of everything and I know it will come down to me. I'm exhausted already, just thinking about it.

I can't think of anything I can do for my husband, anyway. He's not a "hold me, I need a hug" kind of person. (Although I could certainly do with a hug right now.) He doesn't like talking about his feelings. So what the hell am I suppose to do to cheer him up?