Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) has been on my list for a long time so, when we hit a lull in our normal viewing, Jay suggested we watch it. And by “suggested,” of course, I mean that he put it on, giggled, rubbed his hands together, and said, “Oh, I can’t wait to watch you cry over this one.”
To be fair… I do cry over movies. A lot.
Did I cry over Good Morning, Vietnam?
Nope.
Good Morning, Vietnam was based on the experiences of of Adrian Cronauer, played by the bombastic legend himself, Robin Williams. Now, I adore Robin Williams. Is it my
favourite performance of his?
Nope.
Unlike Forest Whitaker's character, Edward Garlick, I was not
a major fan of Cronauer the moment he schlepped onto the screen like a hungover
pile of laundry. (Garlick is such a faboy and I love that about him.) I know that Williams took a lot of liberties with the
character… and he really should not have. It didn’t make him or Cronauer
look good.
To be honest, his character borders on stalky and rapey all
the way through the movie and I just hated him.
In the category of things-were-different-then, I was shocked
to see footage of naked little boys while watching Good Morning, Vietnam.
Wow. That would not be shown on the big screen today! Like… there are a lot
of naked children in this. *shudder*
Cronauer isn’t the only one treating women poorly, of
course, because (say it with me,) that was how it was then! The objectification
of women was infuriating to watch, especially when the soldiers are literally trying
to lure them over with money, essentially saying they’re all prostitutes. And
when the one asks, “Why didn’t I get one?” like they're donuts on a platter,
I could have travelled back in time, marched onto the set, and kicked the
director square in the balls.
This was a tough one to watch, not just because of the
constant sexism, but also because of the endless racism. Honestly, if you cut
out all the sexism and all the racism, you’d have about twenty minutes of
actual movie left. Well, that and a whole bunch of war montages.
The montages were just tedious. I understand that there was
a lot of information to provide about the situation in Vietnam (honestly,
watching Good Morning, Vietnam made me aware of how much I don't remember
of my schooling on the matter,) but it’s overused to the point of being obnoxious.
I don’t know if they were trying to create some sort of
romance between Cronauer and Chintara Sukapatana's Trinh but, if they were,
they failed. Hard. She always looks terrified and Cronauer never takes no for
an answer. Eventually, you wade through enough cringe to realize that the main
relationship in the movie is actually between Cronauer and Trinh’s brother, Tuan (played
by Tung Thanh Tran.)
Their budding friendship is hindered by the fact that
(spoiler) Tuan is a “terrorist.” And then… that's it. The movie is done. Cronauer
is sent away, you have no idea what happens to Tuan, it just… stops.
I imagine the level of frustration I felt at the end of Good
Morning, Vietnam was equalled only by Cronauer’s frustration at the fact
that the “dragon ladies” wouldn’t fall helplessly at his horny little feet.
To be fair, I mentioned earlier that Williams took liberties
with the character. I may have even used the words “a lot.” Well, it was a lot a
lot. The character you see in Good Morning, Vietnam is nothing like the
actual person – although, to be fair, the real Adrian Cronauer was a
stick-in-the-mud, follow-the-rules right-winger so, meh. I don’t think I would
have liked either version of him.
I’m glad I watched Good Morning, Vietnam because it’s a classic… but for no other reason. The only character I liked was Garlick, and he’s either treated poorly or subjected to fat jokes, which just annoyed me. Oh, and I did like the fact that the higher-ups were self-deprecating about the usefulness and role of the American army. Other than that...
Nope.
That’s about it. The movie holds no entertainment value and
its only usefulness is as a window into the history of sexism and racism in America,
the American military, and the film industry as a whole.
Rating: ⭐⭐ (2/5 Stars)
