This is one of those movies that let you know they're sci-fi the moment they start. It's funny because the sci-fit bits feel very Eighties while the fashions and buildings, etc. feel very Seventies. You can definitely tell that Meteor is a movie on the cusp of two decades. You can also tell that it was made at a time of social change, but I'll come back to that later.
Okay, I have to ask... Did Sean Connery ever age? That slick bastard looked exactly the same for about... oh, forever. And, as Jay pointed out, "when this was made, Connery still had many years ahead of him before he retired." It's just not fair to look that good for that long.
But, anyway.
I won't lie and say that Meteor isn't just a little bit hokey. It is. (Come on, it was the Seventies. The world was a hokier place. Lol.) There are some special effects that will undoubtedly make some modern viewers cringe. At one point, there's a snow effect that's just... just... I can't even. And I laughed way harder at the deadly avalanche than I should have. (Someone reserve my seat in Hell.)
Even though the graphics can be a bit dodgy in places, the writing is solid. There are some humour and/or powerful lines in Meteor and it has a solid story. The only problems I had with the film were entirely down to its age. If they remade Meteor today (aside from, ironically, being blasted as an Armageddon rip-off,) it would work very well.
In addition to Connery, there are lots of actors you'll recognize in Meteor. Karl Malden (Harry Sherwood), with those big eyes and bigger nose, hams it up beautifully in true disaster movie form. Then, there's Martin Landau as General Adlon. I was excited to see Landau because I'm a big fan. That lasted until, oh, about the time he spoke.
Landau's General Adlon made me want to bitch slap his face right off. That guy was everything wrong with the American military. Good thing he's not real -- he'd probably have been part of Trump's cabinet! You've got to a few assholes to make a movie work but I found myself wanting a little more from Adlon. (His character, not his life. I was screaming at the movie to kill that effer off.) I wanted to know more about why he was so horrible -- and why his character changed so drastically later -- but I get more hung up on character development than most viewers.
Meteor is a big movie. You feel it straight off, when the narrator begins in an awed tone over sweeping shots of space. Because it's a disaster movie, it takes you all across the globe and, of course, into deep space. Jay reminded me that, following the Star Wars boom, “every other movie was set in space” during that time.
I'm surprised, actually, that I hadn't heard of Meteor until Jay convinced me to add it to my list of 100 Classic Must-See Movies (That I've Somehow Never Seen). How does a movie that's basically the Armageddon of the Seventies just disappear? Despite its hokiness, Meteor deserves more than anonymity. I have to wonder if the movie's political undercurrents are to blame for its lack of recognition.
Meteor isn't just an action film; it's a movie that's deeply concerned with political issues. I was born just a few years after this one came out and I still didn't get it at first. Jay had to remind me that Meteor was set during the Cold War. (You know, the first one, not the one Trump's getting us into now.) It was definitely a facepalm moment!
The Cold War plays a massive part in Meteor. There's a helluva lot of tension between America and Russia. Even when it's 100% clear that the only way the planet will survive is if they work together, they still can't put their shit to the side and get on with it. Gah! That's so freaking typical of politicians! We can't save the world -- think of how it will look if we team up with Russia!
Bitch slaps, all around.
This is where I point out that Meteor is older than I am and THIS CRAP HASN'T CHANGED. Will it ever? Okay, before I spiral into a massive political rant (think of what poor Jay has to live with), let's get back to the review.
I mentioned at the beginning of this review that Meteor is set during a period of social change. You see it in the way that neither women nor black men are present in the shots at NASA or in the Oval Office. Not one. To make it worse, they take a very Old Boys' Club approach to disaster. The world is ending -- fancy a scotch? I'm not going to come down on Meteor for sexism or racism, though, because it's a product of its time. I doubt there's a movie that came out of the Seventies that didn't include at least a little of one or the other.
Actually, I kind of want to applaud Meteor for the way these issues are handled. Although there were no women or black men at NASA or in the Oval Office, when you cut to the super-high-tech secret bunker... whoop, there they are. Whether it was intended or not, that sends a powerful message. The old fogies in charge are more concerned with appearances than getting the job done while the ones who weren't invited to the party are just, you know, saving the world.
That doesn't mean it's not just a little annoying that Connery's Bradley is all over Wood's Donskaya until shit hits the fan, then doesn't even stop to see if she's, like, alive or anything -- but, hey. If you took all the sexism out of every movie from the Seventies, there wouldn't be enough to watch!
I enjoyed Meteor partly because I dig disaster movies anyway, and partly because of the political issues it raised. (Did I mention there was some good use of symbolism with the use of red filters?) I enjoyed it most of all, though, because its hokiness made me laugh out loud. (I won't say what the rockets reminded me of but I did expect them to come with a buzzing sound effect...)
Have you seen Meteor? Care to weigh in? Drop a comment below!
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