Movie Review: Eat Locals (2017)

I don't even know where to start with a movie like Eat Locals (2017) except to say that it's a fucking treat. We watched it on a whim and it turned out to be one of the best movies we've seen this year. (Yeah, I know we're a little late with this one. I don't know how we missed it.)

One out, one in. That seems to be the motto of the ruling body of vampires in Britain who meet at a secluded farm to deal with one of their own who has been flouting their laws. Unwitting Sebastian Crockett (Billy Cook) is chosen to take a place among them but, when his addition fails to be approved by everyone, Sebastian is set to become dinner--until a Special Forces detachment shows up. Then, everyone has to fight for their lives (or... er, existences.)

Eat Locals is a hilarious, riotous, action-packed romp. Imagine The Cottage meets Dog Soldiers and you'll be close to how crazy this movie is. It's so, so British, has a cast full of familiar faces, with a kick ass soundtrack. (Hello, The Damned.)

Of course, it's not perfect. For instance, it doesn't explain why Mackenzie Crook's Larousse is so determined to wipe out the vampires, how he knows of their existence, or how the Special Forces know where they are. These are major plot holes that would take down most movies but, really, don't seem all that important here.

Brexit seems to be a major underlying theme in Eat Locals, with plenty of snarky comments tossed around. It's there, but not overt so shouldn't take away from anyone's enjoyment of the film, even die hard Remainers.

Annette Crosbie's Alice--the ruthless, bingo-loving granny vampire--is my absolute favorite. She makes the movie. I love that she's there with her knitting and that she hobbles on with her walker (before stabbing a soldier in the neck.) Cool, cool character.

It's also great because, although it's done in a comical way, Eat Locals also includes a social commentary on rape/child abuse. When someone mentions turning children into vampires, the gathered rulers are horrified. They don't take children, they insist. And consent is important. "Not like this, not without consent," is the line that stayed with me.

Come on, if inhuman monsters can get it, why can't white men?

I freaking love Eat Locals. It's fun and entertaining. The vampires are kind of freaky, with their nasty teeth and glowing eyes, and it's satisfying to watch greedy soldier boys getting their asses kicked. Plus, there are great Thatcher jokes and references to other movies. You've gotta see this one.