Castle Vanian Halloween Special: Wicked Witches: The Wicker Man (1973)

We’ve spent a lot of time talking about The Wicker Man in the past because it’s such a phenomenal film and I don’t really want to rehash all that now. What I want to focus on is the fact that this is the movie on our Top 5 list of witch movies that best represents actual witchcraft. We talked about that a bit before, but do you want to add anything here?

Someone really did their homework with this one. It wasn’t all pointed hats and broomsticks; it was real paganism. This was witchcraft before the fairy tales and the Wiccans.

The Wicker Man is as cutting today as it was when it was released. Critics hailed Midsommar as the new The Wicker Man but it wasn’t a patch. It was nothing but a gore fest. Wicker Man had charm, Midsommar had none.

The Wicker Man made you hate the main character and protagonist, Sergeant Howie (Edward Woodward.) He had one way of looking at the world, one religion and anything else wasn’t just wrong, it was a sin. How insufferable.

That’s how it’s gone in white history, only one religion was allowed. You were only allowed to worship one God, even though there have been so many across so many religions. How can you believe that you and you alone have the right one?

There was a television called Brimstone that came out in the late 90s where so many demons escape from hell and the Devil employs a dead cop to collect them. The best part is when he goes up against the pagan demon who says, “Who is your god to judge mine, who have been around for thousands of years longer than yours?”

That reminds me of the old witchy bumper sticker that says, “My Goddess gave birth to your God.”

Well, exactly.

The Wicker Man played a large role in my change of religion and why I don’t discuss religion with people anymore. It should be a private thing and you shouldn’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to and you shouldn’t care what anyone thinks about it.

If The Wicker Man hadn’t been our Wild Card choice, would it still be on this list?

Yes. It’s the purest form of witchcraft. You need the representation of the real thing. If you ever wanted an example of Misogyny 101, just look at how women were accused during The Burning Times. Poor sods never stood a chance. If they sank, they were pure and died. If they floated, they were evil and were killed.

Either way, they were out of the way and someone else got their stuff.

That was the point, yeah.

All other societies had different gods for different things. Marvel has made Loki and Thor and Odin popular. Can you imagine? It’s like Scientology. You’ve all got your beliefs and suddenly this new kid on the block shows up and is the only way, the only thing you can believe and you have to believe it or you’ll die. Try to imagine two thousand years from now and Scientology is the only thing you’re allowed to believe. That’s what it would be like.

The two movies the church hated the most during the 70s were The Wicker Man and Life of Brian. The Wicker Man calls out the church. He says it. “He had his chance.” Christianity didn’t work for these people, so they went back to their roots. Life of Brian takes it a step further and straight up mocks the church – something the church does not like.

If The Wicker Man hadn’t been our Wild Card choice, where would it be on the list?

It would be second. I won’t say which movie is top yet because we haven’t gotten there, but there’s only one movie on this list that can beat The Wicker Man.

Alright, any final thoughts?

I think Christopher Lee was right when he said it was one of his finest roles. You’ve got to watch the extended version because it gives you more background and you learn more about Sargant Howie – and you hate him more for it.

That ending… You only get that utter shock of seeing Howie in that burning wicker man once. It’s probably one of the most shocking movie moments I’ve ever seen and it’s a moment that changed the course of film.