King of Halloween: Graveyard Shift (1990)

Wondra: I have to say, Graveyard Shift (1990) is probably the closest thing you’ll find to a b-movie on this list. Okay, it's totally a b-movie. Don’t get me wrong… I liked it. It’s a lot of fun – but it doesn’t exactly have the depth that a lot of the others do. It’s more… what was the word you used? Pulp?

Jay: Yeah. It’s not his best story, but it’s not bad. It’s contained to a couple of locations. The cast isn’t… stellar. Nothing wrong with their ability, but they’re not household names, are they?

W: It isn’t a particularly great cast but Andrew Divoff as Danson and Brad Dourif as The Exterminator are absolutely b-movie royalty.

J: Certainly horror film royalty. If you’re aware of horror films, you know their names. I don’t know if I would call myself an aficionado because there’s just too much to remember now. There’s such an influx of horror movies now, it feels impossible to retain. But I remember Graveyard Shift because it was from a time when you weren’t being bombarded by twenty or thirty new films a month.

W: The thing with Graveyard Shift is that if you’re afraid of rats, it becomes a thousand times scarier. If not, it’s just really… yucky. I mean… I can’t watch it without thinking that they all probably have listeria!

J: Rats can be very clean animals. I love rats. They can be the world’s survivors. They adapt. The can live in the worst scenarios. There’s a rat within so many feet of anywhere in Britain. After mankind has polluted the earth, everything will come back. The rat will just carry on adapting. They’ll still be here, probably just be a lot bigger.

W: The social commentary about money, greed, and power are not subtle in this one…

J: No, but that’s Stephen King. That’s why he got on so well with Romero. They’ve always been very aware of social climates. Whenever there’s a republican in the white house, watch how political King’s works get!

W: I’m a little confused about the rats, actually… If there are storm drains that lead to the river, why are they still there? Rats are hellish clever. Wouldn’t they have just scarpered when there was nothing else to eat there?

J: With that thing killing everything that wandered too close? They had a ready made source of food. That bat thing was killing just to get rid of people so there was always plenty to eat. Would you leave?

W: There are so, so many rats you don’t immediately recognize the big bad for what it is. Eventually, you start asking yourself, ‘Is that a wing?’ And then you get the reveal at the end and… what the crap? How does a movie about a rat infestation turn into a battle against a giant bat?

J: That was the downfall with Graveyard Shift. It never explained why one involved into something else. You have to think that it was exposed to chemicals but… you never find out. It’s also weird that the other rats don’t seem to mind it. With as cannibalistic and territorial as rats are, it’s odd that they would just ignore it.

W: In the book, it’s supposed to just be this giant blind rat without any legs. That would have made so much more sense. Do you think it would have worked better if they had stuck with that or do you think it would have been less effective? I like the monster this way… but maybe in a different movie.

J: If it was just this slug rat? It couldn’t have been better. I suppose it’s down to the director, though, isn’t it? The right director can make nothing look scary.

W: Honestly? When it gets to the monster’s nest, it feels like a whole different movie. It goes from gritty modern to massive classic horror. What the heck? The set is impressive, don’t get me wrong… it just feels like an unnecessary shift.

J: It’s been sealed off so it really is from another time. No one has been there – except for its prey. It’s untouched by everything that’s been built on top of it. It’s necessary because it shows how people deal with things. Rather than dealing with it, they just bury it and move on. And with rats, what do they do? You catch one in your bathroom and the first thing they do is straight down the drain.

W: Of course you have the typical pissing contest between the locals, Danson and Brogan (Vic Polizos,) and the Drifter, John Hall (David Andrews.) That insecurity is always there, isn’t it? You’re only the best thing going until some strange comes along… Why does it always seem like the men in these small towns starting shit when someone new shows up?

J: It’s putting people in their place. You don’t know anything about him but you’re making sure you assert your dominance. It starts in school. You remember when the new kid shows up at school. People don’t go up and just make friends, they always go up and show they’re the top dog.

W: Ugh. Warwick (Stephen Macht) is another Entitled White Man piece of shit, isn't he? Anybody who so much as looks at him the wrong way gets sent to the basement. For awhile there, I thought he was working with whatever was down there but, no, he was just an asshole who knew bad shit happened and wanted to punish people who pissed him off.

J: Yeah, he’s as big a killer as the thing. He’s feeding it. He’s getting rid of his competition. Of his problems. He’s a real monster.

W: And you know, of course, the one thing that pissed me off most about the movie… they killed the fucking dog. I hate it when they bring a dog into a film, just to kill it. Was there any need for the dog, except to die?

J: It gets you, though, doesn’t it? Guaranteed to pull on your heartstrings.

W: What was the deal with Warwick losing his mind? Sometimes that feels like a copout in horror. I feel like maybe people live through pretty horrendous shit all the time and they do it without instantly losing it. So, was Warwick just two fries short of a Happy Meal to start with or is it a case of lazy writing?

J: It’s both. If he didn’t get what he wanted, he was off on one anyway. You can never call King a lazy writer, but Warwick’s character was just the bomb, wasn’t he? Tick, tick, tick, waiting to go off. He was a tool, more than a well-rounded character.

W: Once again, women in horror get a shitty deal. Nordello (Ilona Margolis) almost gets assaulted by Warwick in the middle of town and nobody does a damned thing to stop it - presumably because she's a slut - while Jane (Kelly Wolf) tried to report Warwick for sexual harassment and was told to see a therapist. Sheesh. The men are either psychos or assholes and the women are treated like scum. Is that just narrowing down humanity to our worst bits or is it just using stereotypes for convenience?

J: Honestly? I can’t answer that. It’s like a big, flashing arrow. Bad guy! Hero! You find that sometimes. With some movies, you get that Police Academy thing. “I am a bad guy. I am exiting the window. What do you do?” That’s the problem with some films. You’re not allowed to make up your own mind. This is one of those films.

But they’re all frightened of him. Both because he’s a white man with power and because he’s obviously a nutcase.

W: Even though Graveyard Shift is totally a b-movie, it’s a lot of fun to watch. It’s way down the pecking order for a King film, though! What are your final thoughts on it?

W: It’s a good, mindless night’s viewing. You don’t have to think too hard. It’s not his best work, but it’s worth a watch.

Jay’s Rating: 💀💀

Wondra’s Rating: 💀💀

King of Halloween: Pet Sematary (1989)

Wondra: The Countdown to Halloween continues, which means another Stephen King adaptation. Today, we’re going to look at Pet Sematary (1989,) which has some really great moments but can be really annoying at times.

I think I’ll start with the setting? The most important place in the movie has got to be the pet sematary itself, although little of the action actually takes place there. The tired, worn graves at the “sematary” look kind of scary – but isn’t it a beautiful idea?

Jay: I love the idea of a pet cemetery. Pets play such a big part of your life – from a goldfish to a horse – especially growing up. The dogs you have growing up, you never forget them. They’re a huge part of who you are, who you become. Growing up, I was lucky. I had dogs, budgies, goldfish – hell, I had a kestrel and a crow. If they told me there was a pet cemetery (cemetery, not sematary) opening… one of those new ones, where you can be buried next to them, absolutely. There are plenty of people who prefer their pets to their families! A dog’s love is unconditional. 

W: Absolutely. I cried harder when Dakota died than when my dad died. I mean... to be fair, it was my dad, but you know what I mean. No matter how far away you are, they’re still your family, your best friends.

Okay, so the movie starts and almost immediately, Gage (Miko Hughes) almost runs out in front of a truck. What the fuck were those people thinking, not putting a fence up – or, I don’t know, teaching their kids road safety? As a non-parent, I’m just watching it thinking what horrible, negligent parents they are!

(By the way, we lived right on a major highway with trucks flying by all the time. We knew not to go anywhere fucking near it.)

J: Let’s be honest. When you’ve got a lethal road – that’s why there’s a pet cemetery in the first place – you put up a fence so your pet or your kid can’t run out in the road. It’s Common Sense 101. You’d have to be off your head to have a two-year-old kid there without any protection.

W: I hate Denise Crosby’s character. She’s such a whiny little princess. Her issue with death and “Why should kids learn about death…” They bought the kid a cat. Didn’t they expect to have to explain death at some point? What was she going to do if the grandparents died? You have to teach kids about death at some point! Is there an age that’s too young, ‘cause that girl doesn’t seem that young…?

J: Well, in their defence, the kids are both very young – the parents were probably thinking that they weren’t going to have to have the conversation for a long time.  After all, cats can live up to, what, twenty years? The kids would be in university by then.

I knew from a young age that death was a thing. I had a Nan and B but my other Nan didn’t have a B. I knew that he was in Heaven. From the age of four, I remember crying when my mom went on holiday because I was terrified her plane would crash and she would die. Would it have been easier if I hadn’t known anything about death? I don’t know.

The quicker kids understand something, when something happens, it’s not a shock. My friend’s mother died when she was six or seven at the age of thirty or so. My parents told me, people die. It won’t happen to you. It happens to you if you’re stupid.

W: Someone should have had that talk with Gage.

Honestly, I didn’t find either of the parents likeable. And the grandparents were just hateful. The mother, Rachel, is neurotic as fuck and the father, Louis (Dale Midkiff,) becomes just as bad as she is the moment things go wrong. Do you think it’s intentional, like a commentary on human nature, or am I just reading too much into it?

J: You can never tell with Stephen King because he’s always had a very interesting view on human nature. Just look at The Mist – talk about commentary on human nature. King has an amazing grasp on human nature. Human natures. There’s not just one. He’s really lived a life and you’ve got to think not wanted to for at least part of it. We’re lucky his wife believed in him when he didn’t.

King’s books are so relatable. Look at It or Tommyknockers. The dynamics between people, between friends, are so intricate, so complicated. You know his childhood was a formidable time because he writes about childhood so much. Growing up in 50s/60s America, dirt poor, with Coke bottle glasses… it couldn’t have been easy.

W: It’s common knowledge that King had a rough childhood so it makes sense that he writes about it a lot.

Oh, I wanted to mention Fred Gwynne as Jude Crandall! I loved seeing him in Pet Sematary! He’s such a horror icon and a lovely character. His death is so awful too!

J: Fred Gwynne didn’t act enough for me. He got kind of pigeonholed into the Herman Munster role and he was so much more than that. It didn’t matter if he was warning you or whatever, it did it with that slow, southern voice. I was always so sad that I never got the chance to meet him.

And his death… it is horrific. To slice his ankle, then slice his mouth open. Brutal. Shocking. For half of Pet Sematary, you don’t really see a lot but, when it gets into its swing, it really goes for it. It does get nasty.

W: In typical King fashion, the sister, Ellie (BlazeBerdahl,) appears to be psychic. Weirdly, neither of the parents are. No one else does, either. And it offers zero explanation for any of it. What’s going on there?

J: Yeah, it doesn’t explain it at all, does it? It makes you wonder if she’s tapped into the ground. Children are much more au fait with spirits than adults are, anyway.

W: There is other supernatural stuff going on, of course, with Rachel’s sister, Zelda (Andrew Hubastek) – who, by the way, I don’t believe looked anything like you would if you had the disease she supposedly had, but that’s beside the point – and with the ghost of the kid who gets killed on Louis’s first day, Pascow (Brad Greenquist.)

You mentioned before that you didn’t think there was any point in the thing with Pascow…?

J: No. I understand why, I suppose… to help the story along, but you didn’t need the ghost telling you. You had Jud doing it. I think it was for shock value more than anything. I don’t know if it was a homage to An American Werewolf in London, but I didn’t there was any need for it.

W: It definitely gave me An American Werewolf in London vibes. The annoying thing about Pascow for me is that he could only go so far… could only help so much. Why? The ghost of Zelda didn’t seem to have the same restrictions. I hate inconsistencies.

Alright. I have to ask. If Jud knew bad things could happen if you buried things in the pet sematary, why the Hell did he take that yuppie there?!

J: Jud does explain his reasoning, doesn’t he? He just didn’t want Ellie’s heart broken. I always thought that he should have done a better job of warning Louis, mind. Especially since, like you said, he knew exactly how bad it could get. Jud had good intentions but the whole thing was still a really bad idea.

W: I love that they had to use 9 different cats during filming for Church because cats can’t be trained. Do you think it would have been a different movie if they’d used a dog instead?

J: You could have ended up with dogs that couldn’t act too. Just look at how obedient our dogs are.

As far as it being a different movie? Well, it depends on which sort of dog they used… if it’s a yorkie or something, no, not really. You’d still get the same kind of vibe. If it’s a German Shepard or something, definitely. If a Doberman growls at you, it’s a different story.

W: And, of course, we already have a King film about a killer dog…  

Okay, talk to me about creepy Gage because he’s the best part of the movie.

J: He was awesome. Dying aged Gage quite a bit, though, didn’t it? He went from one-word sentences to full sentences right after coming back. That’s pretty impressive. His second death is the best. When he gets put down, that “No fair!” is something…

W: Okay… I don’t get it. That mofo saw what happened when he took the cat there. He saw what happened when he took his son there. Why the fuck would he take his wife there?! He knew what would happen!

J: I don’t think he really believed it, that it would happen again. He was just desperate.

You know… after Rachel kills Louis, there’s always the possibility that she takes him up to the sematary and buries him. You’re in zombie territory then. Zombies that can think and reason and know how to spread without eating each other. Now that’s an interesting movie…

W: Okay, last chance to add any thoughts…

J: Pet Sematary is a straightforward, creepy film and it’s all down to Gage. Anything where you’ve got a kid coming back after you – and he doesn’t come back as a dumb shit… that’s terrifying. Gage is cunning. He got Jud and he almost got his father. It’s only by luck that he didn’t. Scary stuff.

Wondra’s Rating: 💀💀💀

Jay’s Rating: 💀💀💀💀

King of Halloween: Silver Bullet (1985)

Wondra: I’m happy that we’re doing Stephen King adaptions this Halloween. It gives me a chance to rewatch movies I haven’t seen in a long time – like Silver Bullet (1985.) I know you watched it like a month ago, but it's been awhile for me. 

Jay: Silver Bullet is one of my favourite werewolf movies.

W: Werewolf movies always have major cringe potential, don't they? No matter how good the story is, the costume/special fx are what makes or breaks a werewolf flick. What do you think? How did Silver Bullet do?

J: I’d say… a 6/10. The werewolf was never the best part of the film. But really, it was never meant to be. Movies like Silver Bullet always do best when they limit how much they show of the monster. A claw here, a snout there…

W: Not a werewolf movie, but I'm thinking about Night of the Demon.

J: Right, exactly that type of thing. 

Werewolf films that came before Silver Bullet far surpassed it in terms of effects. Think about the likes of An American Werewolf in London.  Like I said, though, it was never about the werewolf with this one. It was about Marty (Corey Haim) and the dynamics of Marty and his family.

You know Marty and his sister, Jane (Megan Follows,) don’t get. That’s pretty obvious straight away. After that, it takes some time to build Marty’s character. You’ve got all that going on, with the relationship between him and his parents versus him and his Uncle Red (Gary Busey) – plus all the stuff with the townsfolk going on… it’s a slow build.

W: Be honest… how long did it take you to suspect Reverend Lowe (Everett McGill?) Until the weird dream bit, I didn’t give him a second thought because he was the one trying to keep everyone calm.

J: I didn’t get it until Jane said, “My brother’s a real pain” and the reverend turned with the bandage over his eye.

W: Do you think the priest kept trying to talk everyone out of hunting down the creature because he was afraid for his safety – or theirs?

J: I think definitely for his own safety. As he saw it, he didn’t have a choice. He had to kill.

W: He couldn’t keep his secret from them forever. Not at the rate he was going…

J: You’re right. Even if the townsfolk hadn’t started hunting for him, Lowe would eventually have run out of people and would have moved on to the next town.

W: What do you think drove Lowe over the edge? His personality seemed to totally split after getting jabbed in the eye – don’t get me wrong, it sucks, but is that really a turning point kind of moment?

J: Marty drove the reverend over the edge, definitely. He was always going to be a murderer – that’s the nature of the beast – but he might not have gone full blown psycho in his human form without Marty antagonizing him.

W: Silver Bullet does something a lot of horror movies don’t: it focuses on disability. The really great thing about it, though, is that rather than showing how helpless the disabled kid is, it shows how abled he is. That’s a powerful statement for a 1980-something film. What are your thoughts on the way Silver Bullet deals with disability? Do you think Marty’s disability adds to or detracts from the story? How would the story be different if King had used a fully abled character?

J: You have to have the wheelchair, named Silver Bullet, because it’s the connection to the werewolves and the thing that kills them.

I’m not sure they did deal with Marty’s disability realistically, honestly… the way he’s climbing trees and out of his bedroom window and things… Is that realistic for his type of paralysis? Would he have developed that kind of upper body strength at his age? I don’t know if I buy it.  

W: I love the double-meaning behind the name, Silver Bullet, but I don’t remember the wheelchair/scooter having a name in the original book, Cycle of the Moon, and Marty was still disabled in that.

Okay. Deeper question. Do you think there’s room for disabled people in horror – as anything other than the victims?

J: Of course there is. There’s room for everyone in horror. You’re right when you say that if you see a disabled person in horror, they’re usually the victim, but there’s so much possibility, and so much scope for making them the heroes or, even better, the baddies.

W: That’s where you usually see disabled people in other movies, like fairy tales and action flicks, and I’m over that. Oh, you know he’s a baddie because he’s deformed or because he has a disability. Fuck that. Give us more disabled heroes!

J: Corey Haim earned his money in this one. Even though he’s not actually disabled, he makes you believe his is, especially in scenes like when he’s watching his friends play baseball. You see the longing in his eyes, and you really feel for him.

W: He was a great actor. It was a shame what Hollywood did to him.

The good ole townsfolk triggered the fuck outta me. Funny how you can move 4,000 miles away, but one scene takes you right back to a crowded local bar where everyone knows everyone’s business. I bet you there’s someone in my hometown talking shit about me in a little bar just like that one right now.

I mean… community plays a massive role in Silver Bullet – but what’s the message? Is King telling us community is important or is he denouncing the evils of it? I can see it going either way. (I’m leaning toward evils but, hey, that’s my small town girl showing.)

J: I’m leaning toward evil too. You saw it during the pandemic. When push comes to shove, it’s every person for themselves. When the townsfolk go up into the mountain looking for the creature and it actually shows up, they scatter. Don’t get me wrong, though… that’s a natural response.

W: Can’t say I wouldn’t have run like a little bitch…

Oh, my gods. By the end, I just wanted to throttle Lowe. He invoked his Entitled White Man privilege when he insisted that he killed the pregnant woman because suicide was a sin (after she already had to put up with her baby daddy treating her like shit and calling her a slut,) then went for the typical “It’s not my fault!” defence. Why do we keep making room for those douchebags in horror when we have to face them every day anyway?

J: That’s exactly why. Because they’re always there. Just watch YouTube. They’re the one thing that endures. In any film, going back to the beginning, you’ve got the Entitled character. They’re hateful and ever present.

W: Okay, there’s one last thing we have to talk about. Well, a person… Gary Freaking Busey. You mentioned Corey Haim’s vulnerability and all that he brought to the role. What about Busey? What did that crazy mofo bring?

J: Being a crazy mofo?

He steals the show. He’s the mad uncle. He’s batshit, a drunk, a layabout – but he’s the kid’s hero. He doesn’t have any kids of his own, so he lives through Marty. Busey was just exploding onto the scene about this time and you can see why. When he’s on screen, he steals every minute.

W: Final thoughts on Silver Bullet?

J: All in all, it’s a well-cast, well-acted, well-shot film.

The worst part of the movie, sadly, is the werewolf itself – but it doesn’t matter because the story is so compelling. Considering it was just a short novel, it turned into a tremendous film.

Jay’s Rating: 💀💀💀

Wondra’s Rating: 💀💀💀

Birthdayoween Month: 40 Fun Things To Do in My 40s (A Bucket List)

I've noticed a massive difference between the leadups to my thirtieth and fortieth birthdays. Thirty felt like the end of my freaking life. Forty feels like the start. 

I have a theory. (It could be bunnies.) It has to do with how fucking awful my childhood was and how, the further away from that and the more I get to experience life on my terms, the more I enjoy it. 

Or maybe I'm just on better medication now? 🤣

Whichever, I'm approaching 40 with a determination to have fun and make memories, rather than tick off boxes. There's so much pressure out there to do this and have that before you reach a certain age and OMFG screw that. No wonder we all have freaking Anxiety!

I just want to enjoy the next decade! (Goddess knows how long this dumpster fire of a planet has left...)

That being said, I've made a list of things I'd like to do - if I get the chance - in my forties. I made a similar list for my thirties and it did not go well. Probably because I encountered serious physical and mental health conditions that kick the shit out of me for a very long time. 

(I haven't beaten them, by any means, but we're on a first name basis now so I know what I need to do to bring them along on field trips. Spoonie life, y'all.)

Bucket List: 40 Things to do in my 40s 

1. Visit a Disney Park

2. See my novel in print

3. Watch every Disney (animated) movie ever made

4. Build a witch’s apothecary

5. Play with an octopus

6. Go whale watching

7. Ride in a hot air balloon

8. Take an art class

9. Take a cooking class

10. (Finally) get my British citizenship

11. Go to Eurovision

12. See Hamilton on stage

13. See Les Misérables on stage

14. Swim in crystal clear water

15. Do an animal zoo experience

16. Start a family cookbook 

17. Learn a card trick/magic trick

18. Learn to juggle

19. Try archery

20. Go ice skating

21. Learn to make a flower crown

22. Do a wine tasting

23. Eat at Nando’s

24. Try blowing glass

25. Go on a sausage walk

26. Try Ecstasy

27. Try magic mushrooms

28. Go to Oktoberfest

29. Go to a RHS flower show

30. Drink in an ice bar

31. Learn Braille/sign language

32. Get a Twenty One Pilots tattoo

33. Get my dogs’ pawprints tattooed

34. Learn another language (more than a few nursery songs, lol)

35. Make a quilt

36. Watch Wales women play (rugby/football)

37. Try axe throwing

38. Go on sausage-friendly vacation

39. Ride in a helicopter

40. Go on a cruise

One and Forty are the big ones. The ones that I have very little chance of actually pulling off without some kind of divine intervention or winning the lottery or something - but a girl can dream. 

There are things that will be difficult, with my arthritis, or that will require a buddy, because of my social anxiety, etc. etc. etc. but I don't think anything is too far-fetched. After all, I didn't think I'd cross 'Be on TV' off my last bucket list! 

King of Halloween: The Dead Zone (1983)

Wondra: I’m glad you picked The Dead Zone (1983) as our next movie because it’s dark and heavy and so perfect for this time of the year.

The Dead Zone is a movie that changes as it goes. Every time you think you’ve got it nailed down, it shifts again. It’s never the movie you think it is. I guess what I’m asking is, through it all, does it remain a horror movie? If so, what kind of horror movie is it and how does it compete with the usual slasher gorefests of the 1980s?

Jay: It’s actually one of the scariest movies King ever made. Why? Because it became prophetic. Greg Stillson (Martin Sheen) was the embodiment of what Donald Trump became, mob-like, brash, rude, arrogant – this is the man who wanted to nuke hurricanes, for God’s sake!

The Dead Zone is about Johnny Smith (ChristopherWalken,) who finds out he can see into the future. Sometimes into the future… and sometimes into the past. As it goes along, Johnny learns that he can alter the future using his power when he saves Chris Stuart (Simon Craig.)

W: We were talking before about the similarities between this and The Medusa Touch (1978,) with Richard Burton. If you had to choose…?

J: There’s a huge difference between The Dead Zone and The Medusa Touch. One sees them and one causes them. Walken’s character can see them, Burton’s character actively makes them happen. You’re talking about the difference between a hero and a villain.

Funny, I never thought of The Dead Zone as a horror movie when I was young but now…

The Medusa Touch is the scariest of the two. Jesus, can you imagine Donald Trump with those powers? At least with The Dead Zone, the bad guy loses. Not so with The Medusa Touch.

W: Honestly? I wish I never had to think about Donald Trump doing anything ever again. Like you said, though. At least with The Dead Zone, there’s that blissful moment where the Trump character gets his. It almost feels like a personal victory when you watch it now.

With some Stephen King horror films, you get actors that aren’t as well known. That’s not the case with The Dead Zone. Maybe they’re not A-listers, necessarily, but there are some big names here – and a helluva lot of talent.

J: But they were A-listers, Walken and Sheen were, at least. King does tend to stick a lot of the same actors – I’m thinking about people like Ed Harris and Bonnie Badelida – older actors, too, like Fred Gwyn, which is a good thing.

W: Johnny’s an… odd choice for a hero, isn’t he? Walken speaks in a rush, which makes him sound brash, almost rude. He’s an unlikely hero – if you can call him that. Do you think of Jonny as a hero? I mean… he does try to assassinate a politician. He’s not exactly a law-abiding citizen in that way.

J: But he did it to save the world. Johnny is absolutely a hero. He’s not even an anti-hero. He doesn’t really do anything wrong. He saves a little girl from burning to death, tells the doctor where his mother is, stops a serial killer, saves a kid from drowning, and saves the world from a nuclear war. It’s not like he’s Snake Plissken or something. He’s not a right fucker, he’s a hero.

W: I find it interesting that Johnny won’t have sex with Sarah (Brooke Adams) when the movie starts because he’s a good little Christian boy and “some things are worth waiting for.” You can see how much his attitude has changed when she comes back later (with her kid, which is yucky weird) and she’s ready to go. He doesn’t give a shit about God and he’s not waiting for anything anymore.

J: Oh, his relationship with God is gone. His attitude is savage. You see it when Sheriff Bannerman (Tom Skerritt) tries to get him to help, and he turns him away. The sheriff doesn’t have a leg to stand on and, really, you’re with Johnny.

W: Back to Sarah, though. She didn’t wait long for him! What, two years, at most? They were engaged, right? Assuming she met someone, fell in love, got engaged, got knocked up, had a baby – all in three years? Bitch moved fast.

J: How long do you wait? Do you waste the best years of your life for someone who might never wake up? Sucks, but at the same time, she had to move on.

W: Well, I think you wait a little, at least. Doesn’t seem like she waited at all. Which totally makes me judge her. The fact that she ended up with someone involved in politics just makes me judge her harder.

I liked Dr. Weizak (Herbert Lom) when he was talking about Johnny’s ability. “Either a very new ability or a very old one…” I’d love to see that explored further… If other people got the ability or if other abilities showed up. You watched the TV series… did they ever do that, take it further?

J: I only watched a couple of episodes because it wasn’t my cup of tea. King has had a fascination with telekinesis, with the mind and how it’s evolved. We know we only use a percentage of our minds. We have so much space, so much potential – and we’re not using it. Maybe we will. One day.

W: Hey, we lived through the Trump administration. And the Johnson administration. We both know that there are a whole lotta people out there using a whole lot less than others. *sigh* Maybe one day they’ll catch up…

I’m not sure which would be more terrifying – the stuff Johnny sees or having him grab you and tell you all that horrible stuff. Small town like that? He’s lucky he didn’t get his ass chased out of town…

I wonder if things would have been different if he was a woman? Would he have gotten “Burn the witch?” Would he have been treated as a saviour or blamed for everything that ever went wrong?

J: Well, there’s only one moment where he does that and it’s with the reporter at the beginning. The minute he turned it back on him, the reporter didn’t want to know. Wouldn’t you love to fuck with people that way?

Johnny doesn’t really touch anyone else, though, does he? Like when he goes to shake Stillson’s hand, Stillson slaps a badge into it. He also wears gloves a lot. You have to think that he’s trying to prevent the vision, especially when you learn that using the power is probably killing him.

He does move away, too. They don’t explain why, exactly, but he does move away. It makes you think that there’s a good reason for it. His power changes things. I guess the reason they don’t go after him is that he’s more useful than he is frightening.

W: The Dead Zone is so character driven you forget for a long time that there’s supposed to be a baddie in it. And, even when they introduce Stillson, you barely notice them doing it. The first time I saw The Dead Zone, I was expecting the conflict to come from Roger Stuart (AnthonyZerbe) or for Johnny to just burn himself out. I didn’t give Stillson a second thought for ages.

J: Stuart’s not an issue because he’s broken, he’s done. He knows he’s responsible for the deaths of two kids – and could have been responsible for his son’s death. You don’t come back from that.

You do see little bits of Stillson as the movie goes, but he’s still in the background. He only becomes a major player right at the end.

W: We can’t talk about The Dead Zone without talking about, like you said, the almost prophetic similarities between Stillson and Trump.

J: Again, a mafia figure that’s absolutely corrupt to the core. The majority of the world knows that the guy was the worst kind of con man. The whole idea of getting into the White House was to enrich himself. If he’d kept his mouth shut, he could have left with his pockets lined. But he couldn’t. He was a Stillson. He was lining the halls of power to keep himself there indefinitely. And the people around him were just waiting for him to go for the button if things got bad.

W: The Dead Zone asks the eternal question: if you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you? I pose the same question: if you could go back in time and kill Trump, would you?

J: As me now? Yes, in a heartbeat. The man set the world back twenty, thirty years. The problem is… I’m not sure it was 100% Trump. After Obama and the world becoming more accepting, becoming a better place… the Republican party hated that. I think they were just waiting for someone like Trump to come in. They would have gotten someone to drag it back. There were – and still are – too many crackpots in that party.

W: Sadly, too true. Hate is eternal, isn’t it?

The ending of The Dead Zone is just phenomenal. It would have been brilliant if Johnny had killed Stillson, but it was so much better that he destroyed himself by grabbing the baby. I’ve gotta be honest, though… I don’t think even that would stop Trump.

J: Imagine if Trump had picked up a white baby and held it up in front of himself. He doesn’t have any shame, but he wouldn’t have a chance at getting any kind of power. He would never take his own life, but he would be powerless.

You don’t see the end coming. You know Johnny’s going to try to kill him, and you see him fail. It’s better this way. If he’d killed him, he would have become a martyr.

Jay’s Rating: 💀💀💀💀

Wondra’s Rating: 💀💀💀💀

King of Halloween: The Night Flier (1997)

Wondra: Okay, so here we go kicking off a month of binging and chatting about Stephen King adaptations… Since there are some real crackers on the list, let’s start with some of the “smaller” ones. Like The Night Flier (1997.)

The Night Flier is a great movie but is mostly overlooked, even by horror fans. Why isn’t it more popular?

Jay: It was probably a lack of marketing. Plus, even though it was Stephen King, people might have been like, ‘Eh, a vampire flying around at night? I don’t wanna watch that!’ And it was kind of corny in places. I mean… Dwight Renfield and Jimmy Olsen and all that. 

But there isn’t anything else like it, is there? It’s original and a very entertaining.

W: Right. I don’t think I watched it until a couple years ago and that was only because you recommended it. 

You kind of go into The Night Flier not really expecting much because there’s no hype surrounding it, which is good because you can be pleasantly surprised by how great it is.

I love it because of the chase and the imagery. What makes it a great movie for you?

J: The Night Flier is a great movie partially because, like you said, there’s no hype. But, like I said before, there’s just nothing like it. It’s unique. There are so many films that are just same old, same old, especially when it comes to vampires. Vampire goes after young girl, the fall in love, blah blah blah.

This isn’t that. There’s no romance. It’s gutter press. It’s sensationalism. The vampire at the end is quite ropey, really, but I thought there was a nice amount of suspense, which makes up for that. You never know where it’s going, and you never see the end coming.

W: That’s not fair! The vampire is grotesquely awesome. It’s horrible to look at – but also heartbreaking because you know the handsome man he used to be. The horrible face hides a tragic backstory and I love that. 

I can’t really go any further without talking about the role of women in Night Flier. I mean… Grah! Dees and Morrison (Dan Monahan) are both absolute pigs. The way they treat women makes my blood boil. 

Since I can speak from the inside, I’m going to. You have no idea how fucking frustrating it is to be a woman in publishing. Especially in horror. The number of slush stories I’ve read through that are basically just violence fetish and rape fantasy barely disguised as fiction… it’s disgusting.

Katherine Blair (Julie Entwisle) faces a different kind of sexism. She doesn’t have to work alongside men who would sooner see her raped, beaten, and slain than give her a space in their genre, but she does have to fight to make herself seen – and fight even harder to be taken seriously. It’s all “honey” and “dear” until she doesn’t play along. Then, she’s just a bitch. 

I thought more had changed since the '90s but… *shrug* I dunno. It still seems too relevant.

As a man watching all this, I’d love to know what your thoughts were.

J: The sexism is obvious but I think it’s meant to be.

Women have always been either the eye candy or the victim since the dawn of film. It all started to change in the '70s, late '80s when you started getting people like Sigourney Weaver, who were badass and owned whole franchises. Women never shook the stigma, though. Even now, getting Hollywood to give women a chance is painfully laborious. Take Wonder Woman, for example. They were dying for that to fail so they could say a woman can’t carry a superhero film.

But, in the end, Katherine has the last laugh, doesn’t she? She wins. Even though she sees the vampire, she doesn’t go after him. She doesn’t give in to the obsession that destroyed Dees. I guess she doesn’t need the vampire because she’s already got her man. She got her story and Dee got his. It was a victory, even though she had to put up with all that shit to get it.

W: There’ve been a few remakes lately of King films, like Firestarter. What about The Night Flier? Could it be remade now and, if so, how do you think it would it do?

J: Oh, they can always remake something. It all depends on somebody’s vision. Too many times, they remake something and it’s exact. Like Carrie. There’s absolutely no point if you’re gonna redo The Night Flier scene-for-scene. You would have to take it in a whole new direction. Modernize it. Make it viral. Because it didn’t do well financially the first time around, though… no, I don’t think they’d bother.

There are just too many horror films out there now. Horror films used to be an event. Now the market is just flooded with the same old crap and so much of it is just so low budget.

W: So they could, but they shouldn’t?

J: I don’t know… if you modernized it with cell phones and social media... it’s original enough that it could work. I just don’t think they’d spend the money on it. Not when there’s so much else out there to remake that’s more well known.

Everything has been done to death. That’s exactly why The Night Flier works so well. Even after twenty-five years, there’s still nothing like it. It’s so clever, with his plane as his coffin, and sticking to backwater places that wouldn’t bother reporting him. He’s right there under their noses and they don’t even see it. Clever.

W: I mentioned the vampire, Dwight Renfield (Michael H.Moss) – and we agree that the name is stupid and unworthy of King, right? I liked the vampire’s look, but you didn’t. What didn’t you like about it? It was creepy as fuck!

J: Don’t get me wrong, I liked it well enough… I just didn’t like the visual with the huge mouth. I liked the fangs, though. I liked that instead of two tiny pricks, he left huge fucking gouges in their throats. That’s a nice touch.

W: Right. Nothing sexy there.

J: No, definitely not.

Renfield’s look kind of reminded me of Fright Night, actually, although Dandrige (Chris Sarandon) didn’t have a cape. And Dandrige was sexy, hah.

I loved that the first time you see the vampire in The Night Flier properly, all you see is him peeing blood into the urinal.

W: Tell me the movie was directed by a man without telling me the movie was directed by a man…

Ugh. It’s just so gross and so crass. I mean… visually effective, but eww.

What are your thoughts on Miguel Ferrer as Richard Dees? I had a very angry, very physical reaction to his character. I wanted to hurt that fucker myself, he was so awful. He was the real monster of the piece, for me.

J: Well, yeah, because the vampire warned him off the whole time. He didn't want Dees following him. All Dees had to do was let it go – but he couldn’t. He was a sleuth hound. He had to see and, because he did, he lost it all. He’s the ghoul. He’s the monster.

Honestly, you have to be such a prick to be in that line of work. You know you’re hurting people, you know you’re lying... but it’s a paycheck, so you keep doing it.

I guess that’s the difference between real news and what the other guys are doing. It’s the difference between Ari Melber and Sean Hannity. There are reporters who care about the truth. Maybe they spin it a little, but they don’t just make it up for ratings. Not like Richard Dees.

W: Final thoughts on The Night Flier?

J: Only that it should be highly revered but is barely even recognised. I guess there were just too many big movies that year. That, and the fact that it didn’t get the publicity it deserved.

The Night Flier is a well-made movie, but let’s be honest, it’s still horror’s little cousin.  

Wondra's Rating: 💀💀💀

Jay's Rating: 💀💀💀