Sunday 28 August 2022

Book Review: Someone to Share My Nightmares by Sonora Taylor

Someone to Share My Nightmares, a collection of short stories by Sonora Taylor, was my first foray into horrortica and…

Whoa.

Can that be my whole review? No? 

Okay, let’s do this…

Continuing my incurable habit of selecting books based solely on their covers, Taylor’s Someone to Share My Nightmares came up on my Twitter feed and I instantly fell in love with the artwork. I saw it and just had to have it. Once again, my “bad” habit landed me a winner. The artwork for Someone to Share My Nightmares matches the tone of the collection perfectly, both seductive and exquisitely dreadful. 

The eight short tales (and one poem) that make up Someone to Share My Nightmares bring Taylor’s horrors to life with beautifully evocative imagery. They offer different points-of-view and varied definitions of love/attraction while maintaining a sense of humour throughout. While there are plenty of vicious turns and nasty twists to be had, Someone to Share My Nightmares doesn’t shy away from the odd happily-ever-after.

Independence and the reclaiming of feminine power are major themes in Taylor’s collection, from “Someone to Share My Nightmares” which features a forest with a taste for male flesh to “The Parrot,” in which an abused wife turns the tables on her husband in the most satisfying way imaginable. There’s even a heartbreakingly sad but infinitely relatable story about a vampire couple wondering if forever is really worth it in “You Promised Me Forever” and a claustrophobic story of isolation that calls out corporate irresponsibility in “The Sharps.”

Although “The Parrot” is my favourite story for the diabolical way Melinda takes revenge on her husband (who is just truly horrid,) the wickedly fun Krampus-like Christmas story, “’Tis Better to Want” is a close second. (And awfully sexy too!)

I think it’s safe to say that my horrortica cherry has officially been claimed by Sonora Taylor’s Someone to Share My Nightmares and I couldn’t have asked for a better first experience. It’s given me a craving for the darker side of erotica that I’ll definitely be looking to sate – hopefully with more delightfully morbid stories just like these.

Sunday 21 August 2022

Book Review: Hundred Word Horror: The Deep, edited by A.R. Ward

With the temperatures soaring over 90° (and the scenes at the overcrowded beaches a whole different kind of horror story,) last week seemed like the perfect time to collapse across the sofa in the style of a Victorian lady and read Ghost Orchid Press's Hundred Word Horror: The Deep, edited by A.R. Ward. Nothing like some deep-sea horror to chill the blood, eh?

I’m a huge fan of drabbles, both reading and writing them. Short stories are an art form – drabbles doubly so since creating a world, character, meaning, and plot within the confines of a hundred words is such a challenge. (I won’t tell you the number of flash fiction stories I have in my trunk that started out life as drabbles.) 

Hundred Word Horror: The Deep was just the nautical horror fix I needed to fight the hellish heatwave. It took familiar themes in directions I was not expecting and had plenty of nasty little surprises. Overall, the book had a slow, sombre feel - a bit like a lazy seaside town - that was a perfect counter to the hot summer days. 

My favourite stories (in no particular order) are:

“Captain’s Log,” Abi Marie Palmer

“One of Many,” Sean Reardon

“Fish Food,” J.C. Robinson

“Rescued?” Emerian Rich

“Sirens,” Caytlyn Brooke

“Thalassophobia,” C.A. Chesse

“...And the Muckers Came Out,” by Isaac Menuza 

“One Little Push,” Collin Yeoh

“Nicky the Swimmer,” Gus Wood

“Diver’s Close Call,” K.M. Bennett

My only complaint with Hundred Word Horror: The Deep is a matter of preference. I’d much rather read an anthology that is made up either of poetry or fiction, rather than both. I just don’t like the change in styles. (Maybe it's a neurodivergent focus thing?) Aside from that, Hundred Word Horror: The Deep was everything I could have hoped for.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thursday 18 August 2022

Love Your Darlings (Then Kill Them)

I was asked to give a talk on writing horror at a convention in 2015. Somehow, I managed to pull it off without passing out. (I did need about a week to recover, mind...) 

I'm told it went well and there were a lot of raised hands at the end and that's a good sign, right? Sadly, I don't have a recording to share with you but I recently come across the speech I wrote in advance so I thought I'd share. 

How close it was to the actual speech I gave...? My nerves wouldn't allow me to say. 

Love Your Darlings (Then Kill Them)

On Writing Horror...

Horror is no different than any other type of writing. Everything you read is nothing more than the conflict of two basic human emotions: love and fear. I know what you’re thinking. ‘Horror is about fear? Ya don’t say...’ but fear alone isn’t enough to make a story work. 

Why? 

Because not everyone is afraid of the same things. For instance, I have an overwhelming and irrational fear of zombie cows. I could spend all day writing about dead cows, walking the earth in search of gggrrrraaaasssss, but that’s not going to sell.

Why? 

Because you don’t necessarily share my fear of zombie cows. (Yet. Come talk to me after the show and I’ll give you a dozen reasons to fear the walking bovine.) The point I’m trying to make is this: writing about something you’re afraid of isn’t enough because you’re missing the love. 

(Yes, I’m rather obsessed with cows. But not in a creepy way.)

You can’t have real, honest, bone-chilling fear without love. Love is what drives everything humans do. We get up in the morning and go to work because we love our homes and don’t want them taken from us. We cover electrical sockets with safety caps when our children are born because we love them and don’t want the little fools to electrocute themselves. Etc. and etc. 

Horror is no different. You can set the perfect scene: an isolated, run-down cabin in the middle of the woods on the night of a full moon. Oooh. Spooky, sure. But where’s the fear? Are readers immediately terrified because you’ve dropped them in a spooky setting? Of course not. They’re anticipating fear – more on that later – but they’re not afraid. 

Let’s change that. 

It’s the night of the full moon and we’re in an isolated, run-down cabin in the middle of the night with a young woman who’s had some pretty tough breaks recently. 

Her mother died of a swift and aggressive form of cancer, barely giving the young woman time to say goodbye, much less come to grips with the loss. On top of that, her boyfriend of several years bailed on her because the crippling Depression that took hold of her after her mother’s death was really getting him down. (Jerk.) 

Are we afraid yet? No? Well, I’m not surprised. You can dump a Job-load of tragedy on a character but that won’t make your readers afraid for them.

Let’s try again.

Poor – let’s call her Suzie. Suzie has always dreamed of being a vet. Barely a year into a degree that she had to work two jobs to pay for Aunt, I don’t know, Lucy calls to say come home before it’s too late. Suzie rushes across the state to get to her mother’s hospital bed just in time to watch her die. 

Suzie screams at Aunt Lucy. What didn’t she call sooner? Why didn’t Mom let Suzie know she was sick? How could they do this to her?! 

Aunt Lucy can only hug Suzie and tell her that her mother knew how hard she’d worked to get into that degree programme. She knew there was nothing that could have been done. That Suzie’s grades would have suffered if she’d wasted her time by her bedside. Her mother wanted her to fulfil her dreams. 

So, Suzie heads back to university, where her boyfriend of several years offers her a shoulder to cry on. For a while. A few months after the funeral, Dave (Why not? It’s as good a name as any.) decides Suzie’s had long enough to grieve. He tells her to get her shit together before she loses him too. 

But she can’t. Suzie fights and fights but the Depression gets the better of her. She comes home from class one day, certain she’s going to flunk out, to find an empty apartment and a Dear John. Dave left, taking Suzie’s last lifeline with him.

He even took the blu-ray collection. (Jerk.) 

Suzie can’t cope anymore. She’s ready to end it all. Then, there’s a knock at the door. A neighbour (We won’t name them. They’re not important.) holds out a scruffy, dirty little puppy they found outside. The pup’s in a bad way. Good thing Suzie’s a vet. She nurses the pup back to health. They become inseparable, like ya do in these situations. 

Her life has meaning again. She throws herself into schoolwork and has nearly become the vet she’d always dreamed of. Suzie just has one last project to complete, a month of practical experience. Too bad she got so far behind in her coursework. Now, Suzie has to take the only spot left: the one none of her classmates wanted, far away from campus, in the middle of nowhere, studying a local wolf pack, without even an internet connection. 

Not. Even. Dial-up.

It’s Suzie’s first night in the cabin she’ll be living in for the next month. The cabin is a wreck, which adds to the sense of unease creeping along Suzie’s spine. She hasn’t even met her boss yet and she’s already prepared to run back to campus. Just as she thinks that failing her class might be better than spending a single night in the cabin, there’s a strange noise outside her door. 

Are we afraid now? 

Fear isn’t just about the right settings, the right tropes. It’s caring about your characters enough to not want them to die. To create fear, you first have to create love. If you can create characters that readers love, you can use your readers’ fear of losing that character to create effective horror. Writing horror is just writing characters that people love, then doing horrible things to them. 

Which is, you know, the fun part.

Because every horror fan knows that bad things happen – and they’re much scarier when they happen to good people. 

Your horror story will succeed or fail with your characters. How many times have you been reading a story, knowing that bad shit’s about to go down – only to realize that you don’t actually care? The main character is such a jerk (stupid Dave) that you kind of want the axe murderer to chop his head off. 

The author failed to create love and, because of that, failed to create horror. 

What I’m saying is that if you start with a character that readers love, then threaten them with horrible ends, you’re writing horror. Writing good horror, that’s another thing again. 

Good horror relies on the fact that, in literature, it’s all been done. You’re not going to be able to put a character in a situation that’s never been written before and that’s okay. Good horror isn’t about writing something ground-breaking, that no one in the existing universe has ever thought of before; it’s about taking those old, over-used themes, tossing them into the proverbial blender, and pouring out something that tastes different.

If sometimes a bit funky. 

A lot of horror writers will talk about avoiding clichés. Don’t make your character investigate a strange noise in the basement! It’s a cliché! Yup, it is. But why does that have to be a bad thing? You can use clichés to your advantage – and you’d better, if you want to be a successful horror writer. 

You know if that girl goes down into the basement, some big nasty is going to jump out and kill her. Everyone knows. Hell, she knows. That’s why she grabs Daddy’s shotgun off the wall, turns every light in the house on, and stomps down those rickety, wooden steps, ready to blow the intruder’s head off. 

Here’s where you, as a horror writer, have a choice. Are you going to give into the cliché and do what’s always been done? Your readers won’t be impressed if you do, so why not George RR Martin that shit up and flip expectations on their heads? 

Everyone is expecting the baddie to jump out and frighten the heroine. So let it. Then, let her shoot it in the face and, when she’s doing a little victory dance, let her notice the bracelet she made for her boyfriend weeks ago that he never takes off. Make her realize that the ghoulish face is just a dime store mask. Drive her to her knees over the bloody corpse of the only boy she’s ever loved.

Then bring the baddie out of hiding to rip her head off. 

Clichés are one of the most powerful tools a horror writer can use in crafting their story. When readers think they know what’s going to happen, they’ll freak themselves out waiting for it, essentially doing your work for you. You can come along afterward with a few nasty twists and, voila, you’ve given half your readers heart attacks because they were so busy waiting for what they were expecting that they didn’t see what you were really doing. 

This is where my favourite part of writing horror comes in handy. Foreshadowing is essentially just showing people exactly what’s going to happen, while making sure they’re not paying the slightest bit of attention. Like the cliché, foreshadowing is essential to good horror. Unfortunately, like the cliché, it’s also the reason horror often fails. 

Foreshadowing requires balance. Too little, and you leave readers wondering what the hell just happened. Personally, I get angry when an author drops a surprise that has absolutely no bearing to the rest of the story. It’s insulting to your readers. Don’t do it. When you unleashed that surprise, you want your readers to say, “Oh, my god. That. Why didn’t I pay attention to that in the first place?!” 

But don’t overuse it. If you try to force foreshadowing down your reader’s throats, you’re going to annoy them just as much. You don’t want anyone saying, “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You’ve mentioned that rusty old nail twelve times in the last three pages. There are blind monks in Tibet who know that chick’s gonna get impaled on it.”

So, where’s the balance? 

Remember Suzie? 

Yeah, Suzie’s just about losing her shit right now. Her faithful canine companion is at the front door, barking wildly. A wolf’s howl splits the night. Oh, the clichés! If you’re not expecting werewolves by now, I have to wonder why you’re interested in horror. If you think there’s a werewolf waiting outside that door, though, you missed the foreshadowing – which is exactly what was supposed to happen. 

While you’re all focused on the barking and the moon and the wolves, I’m just going to give Suzie a little push. She was ready to bolt, anyway.

Suzie makes a run for it. She grabs the dog and makes her escape through the back door. Fear’s gotten the better of her though and carrying a squirming dog isn’t helping any. She knows the cabin is in bad shape, but she doesn’t think about it. She just runs… 

…until her foot goes through a rotten floorboard on the deck. The dog goes flying. Suzie falls, breaking her ankle and impaling herself on the pile of tools her boss meant to warn her about but forgot. He’s at the door now, with a bottle of wine and an apology for making her stay in such a lousy place. Poor Suzie. 

While her boss goes to investigate the strange whining noise coming from behind the cabin, let’s summarize: 

Writing horror is creating characters that readers love, then doing horrible things to them. Writing good horror requires an understanding of clichés and the ability to subvert them, all the while using foreshadowing to hint at your true intentions. If you can do all this, you can be a successful horror author. 

Wednesday 10 August 2022

Book Review: Pounded by Politics Again: Nine More Tales of Civic Butthole Diplomacy by Chuck Tingle

If you haven’t read any Chuck Tingle, I encourage you to do it – not because it’s fine literature (because it’s not) but because it’s just too fun not to. They’re all super quick and easy reads so why not, right?

I won’t lie, Pounded By Politics Again: Nine More Tales of Civic Butthole Diplomacy has some typos. A lot more than you’d want to see in a published piece of fiction. Some are so blatant you have to wonder if anyone actually proofread it at all before sending it to print. If you can get past that, you’re in for a... weird time.

Pounded By Politics Again is as irreverent as any of the books in the Tingleverse. It’s a ridiculously meta parody with a hint of erotica. Ever wonder what it would be like to deep throat a T-Rex or bang a giant, sentient corn on the cob? (Yeah, me neither...) 

Well, wonder no more!

The nine short stories included in Pounded By Politics Again mercilessly poke fun at certain world leaders as they get reamed by their climate change denial and stuffed by their tax returns. I won’t bother reviewing each individually because, honestly, they're all basically the same. 

That being said, “England’s Ass Is Haunted By A Hung Parliament” made me laugh the hardest. (I have that decision paralysis thing going on so it's personal...)

If you’re still not sure if it’s worth spending a few quid on (which I can’t believe because obviously I’ve made such a compelling case!) give Chuck’s podcast, Pounded In The Butt By My OwnPodcast, a try. I recommend either “My Butt Is Comforted By The Realization That I’m Okay And Everything Will Be Alright” or “Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt” because they’re read by some of my favourite podcasters.

If you’re already a Tingle fan, tell me your favourite story so I can read it. (Because, clearly, I have more time than taste!) 

And, yes, the rumours are true. I have written Tingleverse fanfiction. (No, I am not the elusive author himself.) If you want to read it, may God have mercy on your butthole: Pounded In The Butt By A Six-Foot Painted Jesus Carved Out Of Wood (And His Dad.)

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ (3/5 stars)

Monday 8 August 2022

Book Review: Prince of Never (Black Blood Fae #1) by Juno Heart

I keep waiting for my “fae phase” to pass but... nope, no sign of that happening. Give me a book about grumpy fae royalty with a pretty cover and I will 100% be there for it. Prince of Never (Black Blood Fae #1) by Juno Heart fulfilled both of those requirements, then kept me enthralled with its magical realism and beautifully crafted language.

Lara is just a mortal woman who waits tables and loves to sing – until she’s tricked into entering a portal to Faery in order to fulfil an ancient prophecy. In Faery, she finds her voice has the power to enchant even the cruellest fae. Which is handy, since he’s the one who pulls Lara from the river she lands in.

Ever’s heart is twisted by the cursed, poisoned blood that runs through his veins. The only reason he wants to find his fated queen is so that he can murder her, hopefully ending the curse that’s plagued his family for 900 years – until he learns that his fated queen is the pesky, infuriating human he found in the woods.

The enemies-to-lovers romance between Lara and Ever is a well-timed slow burn, with just the right amount of tension. It’s so, so sweet when they finally get together and so, so heart-breaking when they’re immediately torn apart. (I don’t care how often the trope is used, I will always fall for it.)

As much as I love the relationship between Lara and her prince, I love the cast of side characters even more, especially the non-human (err... fae) ones. Ever’s hound, Balor, and his horse, Jinn as well as the prince’s brother, Raff's, fox-like companion, Spark, are as interesting as any of the speaking characters. 

Too often, pets are included in stories only to be forgotten when not needed. Prince of Never is never guilty of that. Every pet included in the story has their own personality, interacting with others as the main characters do their own thing.

As an animal lover and mom to several fur babies, I really appreciate those little details.

The only thing that lets Prince of Never down is the ending, which is too rushed. The last few chapters are too quick, too easy. I expected more resistance from the queen and Lara’s little surprise deserved a better reveal to Ever. I like a happily-ever-after as much as the next sap, but the climax here is too good to be wasted on such a sloppy ending.

Aside from an ending that’s, I hate to say, unworthy of the book, Prince of Never is as enchanting as one of Lara’s songs. I found it impossible to put down and I’ll definitely be looking for Raff and Isla’s story.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5 stars)