This past Ostara, I decided that I was going to make some changes for the better in my life. The next day, I ripped my To-Do list into a million tiny little pieces. As you probably know, Anxiety has been a constant presence in my life - and quite controlling a lot of the time. My father was always the same. He called it "Nerves." He had to take pills to control his Anxiety but I never, ever want to get to that point. With the added pressure of caring for my MIL, I was fast on my way to medication - or worse. I stopped sleeping again and started getting chest pains. Scary.
My to-do list certainly wasn't helping things. It was huge to start with and never seemed to get any smaller. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment when I finished something, I just felt really depressed that I hadn't done more. So when I decided to bring some happiness and positivity into my life, I threw the bitch out.
I can't tell you how much better I feel these days. The Anxiety doesn't go away, unfortunately, but it's back down to manageable levels again. Every thing I do feels like I accomplished something, no matter how small the chore, which is a great feeling. :)
