Movie Review: The Wicked (2013)

I had high hopes for The Wicked (2013) right from the start because of the decent production value and acting. With horror, if you can check those two boxes straight away, you’re onto something. Though, honestly, with the overall look and feel of the movie (and the infrequent but slightly dodgy CGI,) I thought it had been produced a decade earlier than it had. It didn’t take anything away from the movie, just made me a little nostalgic for the early Noughties.

The Wicked starts with little Amanda (Caitlin Carmichael) who’s convinced something called The Wicked is coming for her because she broke a window. There’s really no reference at his point but, later, you learn that local kids dare each other two throw stones, trying to hit the side of a witch’s house. If you break a window,  she’ll hunt you down and eat you.

And, honestly, I would too.

Fucking kids, amiright, witches?

(There are going to be some spoilers from here, so turn back now if you don’t want to know too much.)

Mommy comes in and makes everything better – until the bedroom window flies open and a pair of wizened, blackened hands appear over the edge. Poor little Amanda gets sucked out the window with the help of some slightly suspect (and, really, unnecessary) CGI and you just know Mommy’s getting blamed for that shit.

The sepia-toned title sequence that follows is ominous and well-crafted. It features beautiful artwork with silhouettes, flames, dripping blood, and newspaper articles that give you a glimpse at the damage The Wicked has done over the years.

Next, the movie moves away from Amanda’s mother to focus on a rich family whose patriarch has just died. He’s a local magician so a lot of the talk around his death is going to be about magic. His grandson, Max’s (Devon Werkheiser) bestie, Sammy (Diana Hopper,) shows up. Max's older brother, Zach (JustinDeeley,) and his friends busy themselves with giving her a hard time for being a lesbian (which she’s not) and being white trash (which she is.) She goes to find her bestie and the movie shovels on angst while building the relationship/backstory between the two.

Don’t think the magical references stop at the wake for Granddad. They continue to be prevalent through the entire movie, especially with Max, who looked up to his grandfather the most and is struggling the most with the old man’s death. There’s also an early reference to witches (with some nice foreshadowing) when his bestie drops the bottle meant to ward of witches that he inherited from his grandfather.

Whoops.

Zach and his friends have been hanging out, talking about visiting the heart of a local urban legend about a witch who stays young by eating kids who bust up her windows. They’re not supposed to go there because of all the kids who keep disappearing so…

Someone call those blind monks in Tibet? I think they can see what’s coming.

Before Zach and his friends get out to the witch’s house, Open Hearth, you get a scene where the local forestry ranger is killed (Not entirely certain on why that one happened – it’s not like he was breaking any windows. Stick to your own mythology, guys.) and Sammy + Max have a run-in with local law enforcement officers, Sergeant Reid (Carlos Faison) and Deputy Mahoney (Robert Young.) Turns out Sammy has a history of making prank calls.

Looks like anyone planning on fucking around with any centuries old witches might be shit out of luck if they have to call for help…

These early scenes give us a couple of my favourite lines in the movie – like the brilliant, “If you really spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.” Gotta remember that one for future use!

The movie introduces Jess Adams as new-to-town, rich bad girl Julie to… prove what a disgusting, sexist piece of shit Max’s friend, Carter (Chase Yi) is. Oh, wait, no. She’s there so the rest of the group have a reason to explain the local legend of The Wicked. Julie is actually a really good, subtle tool for getting around the whole show-don’t-tell problem a lot of movies have. She’s as new to the town as viewers are, so we’re basically getting the info through her.

The Wicked lives, like I said, in a dilapidated house in the woods (I’m feeling a little attacked here) called Open Hearth and I love the juxtaposition of that. The name of the witch’s house is so welcoming, and the actual house is so… not. When the kids get there, it’s shrouded in mist (of course) and even the wild animals avoid the place. Once you get inside, though, you just can't leave.

Cue a massive cat-and-mouse game between The Wicked and the kids that lasts the rest of the movie. The kids almost get away, then they don’t. They almost get away, then they don’t. They almost get away… (they try to get help from the forestry agent and cops – guess how well that goes…) right up until the end where it almost looks like a happy ending.

Then it’s not.

I loved every second of The Wicked. Well, except for Amanda’s constant wailing, maybe. I would’ve eaten her first, just to shut her the fuck up. 

Scratch that. That little bitch would definitely have caused indigestion.

The movie is extremely effective in building tension with well-utilized shadow and lighting; with a score that sweeps and builds, then drops to almost silence but for eerie whispers. It delivers good backstory and character building, so you actually care whether they live or die (sometimes hoping for the latter.) And, although The Wicked isn’t packed with jumps, there are a handful of well-placed stings and some frightful imagery (like a human-sized meat grinder – yikes!) that make it an excellent horror movie.

And, of course, I can’t finish this review without talking about The Wicked herself, who is just too cool to look at. I’ll be honest, I’m a little jealous of her style. (Where do I get one of those coats?!) Of course, she’s hideous to look at, at first, but gets better looking as she chomps on the kids she keeps stored in weird spiderweb-like cocoons (with apples in their mouths, LOL.) It usually bugs me in movies when witches are ugly because it's supposed to be a reflection of our evil souls, blah, blah, blah... but The Wicked is meant to be several hundred years old, so there's a logical explanation for it that I can get behind.

Also, you do have to appreciate her apothecary, even if it’s mostly bits of children.

If you don’t mind ignoring a few crude, juvenile jokes that are unworthy of the rest of the script, The Wicked is a must-watch for the witching season.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Bechdel Test: 👍