Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Elusive Sleep...

I've never slept well, unfortunately. I suffer pretty badly from anxiety at times and it's always worse at night. I get panic attacks when I'm laying in bed by myself sometimes. That's bad enough. But I also get these episodes right after I fall asleep where it feels like the whole house is being shaken down around me and there's this loud roaring noise in my head - sometimes accompanied by screams. The only thing I can liken it to is being inside a jumbo jet as it's crashing. Needless to say, I'm wide awake after that. Sometimes it happens two or three times in a row before I can sleep properly. It dies off then the shaking starts and it happens all over again.

It doesn't happen all the time (maybe one or two nights a month) and it never happens when I'm sleeping on the sofa or if the DH is in bed with me. I've tried figuring out what it is without getting a doctor involved because, let's face it: the NHS is f***ing useless. The only things I can find are sleep paralysis and night terrors - and neither of those really fit.

I wonder what it is and what causes it? Ever heard of anything like it?