Thursday, 21 October 2021

Castle Vanian Halloween Special: Creature Features: Lake Placid (1999)

Lake Placid is about a killer crocodile (or two) but… I have to ask… do you think it’s safe to say the real killer in this movie is snark?

I was just saying to my friend that we'd watched it, and he said he can’t resist Lake Placid when it’s on. I’m exactly the same. It’s so fun and entertaining, I just love it.

This movie makes me laugh so hard! The banter is just legendary.

It is. The sarcasm levels are through the roof. That’s what makes really makes Lake Placid. The best line two lines both come from BettyWhite’s Mrs. Bickerman. The first one is “Thank you, Officer Fuck-Meat!” The second is, “If I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it!”

Savage. How great is Betty White, though?

Betty White is such a great actor. She stole the spotlight in Lake Placid as much as she did in The Golden Girls. That was when I first noticed her, The Golden Girls. When you do see her in movies, which isn’t often enough, she always steals it. She always gets a quip in.

You’re kind of with Mrs. Bickerman, aren’t you?

Right?! We would definitely be the ones feeding the insanely large, man-eating crocodiles.

We probably would, lol. There’s the thing… he seems quite happy with Mrs. Bickerman. It knows her. In recent years, how many times have you seen people with tame crocodiles. Remember that guy in Japan?

It’s an unusual pet but, to be fair, it’s not that unusual. Not as unusual as you’d think, anyway.

Speaking of the crocodile… how freaking awesome were the crocodiles?! They were so convincing!

It is quite good. I think it was a combination of animatronics and CGI? You really get an idea of how good it is when Hector Cyr (OliverPlatt) is in the water with the croc and it’s blinking. That’s how good it is. It’s, what, 20 years old? And it still holds up remarkably well.

Okay, we’ve already mentioned Oliver Platt as Hector Cyr but I have to ask about the chemistry between him and Brendan Gleeson as Sheriff Keough. How good is the banter between those two?!

They made the film. What would have been an okay film was moved up to exceptional because… I have to say it, Brendan Gleeson plays such a good grump. How many movies have you seen Brendan Gleeson in? Loads. He’s been in so much and they’re cracking films. Even thought he’s just a chunky ginger guy, he can pull of a lot of different roles.

The way Platt and Gleeson spark off each other really make the movie. You’ve got the long-suffering grump versus the spoiled party guy. The moment Cyr turns to Keough and says, “You know, sheriff, when friends or family say certain things, they tend not to register. So it helps to hear it from a complete stranger... you're fat.” Your jaw drops because Platt’s not a small guy either.

I mentioned my favourite two lines, but I think my third has to come from Cyr and Keough. It’s that moment Cyr holds up the severed toe and asks Keough if that was his friend. Keough just gives him this deadpan look and says, “He seemed… taller.” It’s a gut laugh moment.

What about the rest of the cast?

That’s the point, isn’t it? You’ve got Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda and you kind of forget that they’re even there because they’re being overshadowed by Gleeson and Platt. It’s supposed to be the big romance but, really, all anyone cares about is the bromance going on.

I like that Keough was the one who decided to go with Cyr in the ambulance at the end. You just know they’re going to be good friends, partly because of the way they’re fucking with each other the whole way through.

What about the twist? Were you expecting there to be two crocs, because that surprised me?

It was a nice surprise. No one was expecting there to be a second crocodile so it’s a great shock. You’ve let your guard down a little, you’ve started to relax a bit and then that second one comes out of nowhere.

And the babies at the end…

Good Old Mrs. Bickerman. Lol. It was a nice touch because it left it wide open for a series – which, of course, they took advantage of.

You were saying about the marketing?

Lake Placid was kind of billed as the crocodile version of Jaws. You can see it in the poster, with those open jaws. There really aren’t any other similarities. There were very different films.

What about the sequels?

The only sequel that was worth its salt was the second one. It would have helped it a lot more if they’d brought some of the other cast from the first movie. Lake Placid 2 was worth watching for Cloris Leachman as Mrs. Bickerman's sister, Sadie. Mrs. Bickerman’s gone missing so you know… croc food.

Was Lake Placid based on a true story?

I doubt it but, you know… it could have happened. You have all these stories about people trying to keep exotic pets they can’t handle then they end up in some retirement village in Florida, chasing Republicans around…

That’s a nice thought.

Isn’t it? But think about all those old comic books where you could send away for a freaking monkey and things like that. People get pets, don’t have any idea how to take care of them or how big they’ll be and then you end up with Crocodiles chilling in Maine. So… no, it’s not a true story but it certainly could be.

What makes Lake Placid work so well (aside from the banter?)

Lake Placid works because doesn’t overextend itself. A lot of the scenes with the crocodile only tease. It doesn’t show a lot. There aren’t any overly complicated effects – there are some good decapitations and people being bitten in half – but you don’t really see that, just the effects. There are shocks and excitement and humour but no nudity or gratuitous violence. It would be an okay film, but the comedy element makes it so much better.

It’s like with any movie, when it stays on your conscious, you know you’ve stumbled across a winner. Isn’t it funny that the two big stars are completely overshadowed by the three supporting roles? Oliver Platt versus Brendan Gleeson with the supporting cast of Betty White make Lake Placid an exceptional movie.